For some of you that don't know me yet or my story 6 years ago I had a closed head injury that left me with 4 kinds of migraines. Until that day I had never had a headache before. I to was a judgmental person saying but you look fine! I have no seizure activity with the migraines thankfully though they can't figure out what the trigger or triggers are. But I do have a unusual kind of syncope where some people ( most ) only last a few seconds.... Mine can last a few hours. I wake with some delirium and that extreme pain that causes it also affects my spelling, I write like a kindergartner . Thank God for spell check! For about a year there has been other things going on unrelated.... But the rare or unusual seem to be my normal.
With the migraines I was bed ridden more than 17 days out of the month, then I found a different ind of treatment! RF or radio frequency they burn the nerve , non invasive. Not a cure but gave enough relief to be able to be in bed less! In the bathroom less from the throwing up from the migraines.... I was a single mom 2 kids lining back home with my parents. It was hard not working I started so young, I enjoyed hard work.
I also struggled with daily stuff, just basics. Finding a Dr. That could figure it out was hard, I had no idea what was going on. I felt so bad for all the times that I myself judged someone else that " looked fine" But said they were unwell. I understood why a person felt they may not have anything to offer in a relationship with limitations. But I was going to be ok. Then I got the black and white 3 years in DISABILITY and the percentage.... I was in my 20's then. I was devastated. But I am still doing what I can to be as healthy as possible. For several months I have been in bed unable to keep food or liquid down without help, lost lots of weight in and out of the ER no idea of what the issue is now.... But we are getting answers a little at a time. I have a idea a possibility, Next week will get some results.
You know what is the most amazing? God gave me a Husband in 2010 that knew I had disabling migraines and how bad it might be, yet he chose me anyway. We have had some hard things one counselor we know told us we have had more in our 3+ years of marriage than most have in 20 years. But we also have such an incredibly strong love, respect and have protected our marriage. We Invest in each other daily and pray for and with each other everyday. I know my cowboy better than he knows himself I have a PHD in him and I study him more every day. But the best thing I can give him is to Invest myself in a passionate relationship with God. Without God I am 100% sure I can not make the next 5 min. I Love to praise HIM , we live in a fallen world, God is not the author of my hurt but the author of every hope, every song in my heart, every smile, He is the reason I am even able to physically get up and stand with my broken body. His son died for me, for you.... So that the chains that bind can be broken we can be set free. He is a gift we can't earn just except , believe in our heart, start that walk.... Without Jesus I know I would Not Be Alive Today. Pain is a reminder sometimes of a greater need.....
Living Life Through Change
Kirstie
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