To whom ever is reading this blog.... this isn't based on a true story it is one! But it sure reads like a soap opera , as the sands of time.... days of our lives. It is my life And Yesterday as events were unfolding I was so stunned I could not even be mad. I had to laugh. It is so hmmm not sure there is a word that fits. ludicrous ? ridicules ? supercalifradulisticexpialidocious I probably didn't spell it right. but even so it still doesn't seem to fit. Please sit and I will tell you the stupendis crazy mystery! Who knows it could be the one that makes it to the season premiere of HOUSE MD!? It is that bizarre.
Well after years of odd becoming my normal medically speaking any way. When I was a young teen I had a strange episode of illness. I don't remember much just that I had been very sick, had been telling my mom I really didn't feel good. Course she felt bad for not noticing faster like all moms do but I just remember it coming on from no where. There were 5 kids so mom as you can imagine was busy. Oh and she home schooled ALL 5! Did I forget to mention Pastors wife. Yes she still is SUPER WOMAN! She took me to the Dr. I got pretty bad just sitting there. Dr said off to admit to the hospital! I was crying I hears you will meet a surgeon there. I was pretty delirious .... getting the IV in seemed like a impossible feet! I had lots of visitors the few days I was there. But I remember only 2 one family the Claypools brought me fun pj's. And my grandparents. It was the first time I ever saw my Grandfather cry. Well they pretty much guessed I had upper and lower intestine infection.... tons of antibiotics , something for pain. No surgery went home. Years later same weird pain started again! in and out of the ER! Finally through many tears I grabbed the Dr's arm begging pleading. I said You can do exploratory surgery anything I will sign it, PLEASE Just fix it! He said one more test. He would call a friend. That one more test showed my gallbladder was functioning at less than 10% They were shocked!!! They didn't know the machine could pick up levels so low. The surgeon said when they removed it, it was the strangest thing he had seen. It was the size of a child's! It never grew with me through puberty he figured it burned out. I said well My mom raised me on a very healthy diet. I guess it couldn't handle me dating an Italian ! LOL
Then the closed head injury...... another long story with plywood and wind my Neurologist said I am ordered to never fly human kite's again ;-)
April 8th 2011 Just shy of 6 weeks miscarriage of my first child with Brent. I had just found out I was pregnant, didn't get started on a medication I need to keep me pregnant till the placenta is fully formed. Progesterone is what gives you morning sickness, my body quit making it when it is supposto in pregnancy. We lost a baby our OB made sure things were taking a safe course. Then we started having problems.... back to the ER. The Dr said well its not unusual to have some of these problems. You won't be able to get pregnant for some time with these complications. By Easter we found out we were pregnant?! But What So We called that Monday Dr called in the meds. better safe than sorry! Praise The Lord! it took a few weeks to get in for the first ultra sound. I just knew.... It felt so different. I kept telling my husband it was twins. Of curse NO ONE believed me! lol But we went in. there was a restroom in the ultrasound room, mu husband walked out was fixing his belt buckle and she blurted out so sir how do you feel about twins? bulging eyes welling up, he started laughing she knew, how did you know!
It was a strange and wonderful thing! I had Choliostasis in the end of course its rare! lol last 2 months. We got to know the nursing staff by first name. born at 36 weeks both just shy of 6 lb! lungs 96% Thursday night Dec 15th.... We made our first anniversary, barely it was the 3d. and doubled our crew! We all went home Saturday just after lunch! even after a csection!
Brent said since then I have not fully recovered. kidney infection and 3 days in the hospital, strange rash on my torso, drinking die tests, stuck with needles , CT scans, endoscopy, colenoscopy, bleeding places that you shouldn't be, tested for countless things...... We finally had a answer! Lupus! Then we went in yesterday and they said ...... ummmm. well.... I know it said this but the person that told you wasn't qualified to tell you. They didn't understand . Congratulations It is Not Lupus! We Do Not know. But We have a few more tests we would like to run.
For any of you who haven't seen Pollyanna. GET IT! Play the Glad game. The pro's are I went on a Hot date with my husband! I don't have Lupus! I seem to have more things each week.... I have decided ! It must be a spiritual thing. The bible says it is not against flesh and blood but principalities of darkness that we war. If I didn't live in it, I wouldn't believe it would be possible. My husband kids, and even my mom could tell you how bad it has been. Scary! Even look like I was going to die.
My heart has never broken more than to have my husband cradle my body sobbing..... begging me to live. We have only had 3 years.
The Bible said Gods word shall not return void. I believe with my entire heart Gods word in its entirety it truth! God gave Brent and I a mission, we have not fulfilled it yet. I will Praise God , I will continue to hold onto Gods truth, His promise, His grace! I am at this point continuing the tests out of love and respect for my husband. But I don't think they will find anything. I think jut as he fast's and sacrifices one day a week.... So my body sacrifices in other ways as we war on in the spirit. I will not relent! We will War on! Continuing to stand the gap for many, praying serving , loving.... choosing to take no offense to those who can't understand the suffering that is real, not just to me.... but to so many. God has used this so soften my heart to others who have chronic pain, illness, and have been wounded by others that challenge their integrity. I understand the fear and now see it in those who are trying to not protect the person who has pain but a family, a wife, mom jobs, children. God has used this to bring healing to my own wounds from people who have said hurtful things. Some because they just don't know better, others because of insecurities, fear, many kinds! fear of unknowns, how could someone you know have this, does that mean I will get this, anger, bitterness jealousy ....... I told my mom they can call it Kirstie itis.... Because it is the bug that brings pain, but with it brings Prayer, Praise, Peace and Joy from the Lord. I no longer need a Name. It doesn't matter. As another person I know who suffers said we will appreciate our heavenly bodies that mush more! Though truthfully when we are there I just want to Sing to Jesus. Just as I do now. God has given me great Miracles through this incredible pain. without great pain we would not understand great joy!
Thanks for sharing this moment...
Living Live Through Change
Kirstie
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